From the Writings of Benjamin Franklin in the Pennsylvania Gazette

Punishment of Watt

Yesterday, being Market Day, Watt who was concern'd in the Counterfeit Money, as mentioned in one of our late Papers, receiv'd part of his Punishment, being whipt, pilloried and cropt. He behaved so as to touch the Compassion of the Mob, and they did not fling at him (as was expected) neither Snow-balls nor any Thing else. We hear that Grindal, the Importer of the Bills, and chief Person concern'd, was taken in the Jersies, but afterwards made his Escape. In his Pocket-Book was found the Account of Charge, so much to the Printer, so much for engraving the Plates, so much for Paper, &c.;

The Pennsylvania Gazette, January 11, 1732/3

On Drunkenness

To the Printer of the GAZETTE.

I was much pleas'd with the short Caution you gave in one of your late Papers, on Occasion of a Woman whose sudden Death the Coroner's Inquest ascrib'd to the violent Effect of strong Drink; and being my self related in the nearest manner to one, on whom that Caution seem'd to have some good Effect, I could wish you would pursue it further, in which perhaps you may oblige others beside me: For it is now become the Practice of some otherwise discreet Women, instead of a Draught of Beer and a Toast, or a Hunk of Bread and Cheese, or a wooden Noggin of good Porridge and Bread, as our good old English Custom is, or Milk and Bread boiled, or Tea and Bread and Butter, or Milk-Coffee, &c. they must have their two or three DRAMS in a Morning; by which, as I believe, their Appetite for wholesome Food is taken away, and their Minds stupified, so that they have no longer that prudent Care for their Family, to manage well the Business of their Station, nor that regard for Reputation, which good Women ought to have. And tho' they find their Husband's Affairs every Day going backward thro' their Negligence, and themselves want Necessaries; tho' there be no Bread in the House, and the Children almost barefoot this cold Weather, yet, as if Drinking Rum were part of their Religious Worship, they never fail their constant daily Sacrifice. It is not long since I was present at the following Scene. Enters one who was once a handsome Woman, but now with bloated Face and swollen Legs, How do you do, Neighbour? Indifferent. Bless me, it's very cold, and I've no Wood at home; but I'll go down to ------ , and they'll help me to Wood; for they have a penny to spend, and a penny to lend, and a penny to lay up. Come, can't you give us a Dram? No, I wish I had one. Come, I've got a Penny. And I've got but a Penny, if more would save my Life I ha'nt it. Come then, I've got two pence, and your Penny will fetch half a Pint of Run; and you shall be two pence another time. So away goes the half-pint Bottle. And you shall find Sugar, and a little Bit of Butter, and that's pure good this cold Weather. Judge you how finely things are like to be carried on in the Families over which such Women are placed. I for any part shall never more speak against TEA; let those that like it enjoy it for ever: Tea will not take away their Sense of Shame and of Duty, nor their Fear of Censure: Their Pride in this Particular, may make them careful, and industrious, and frugal in other Respects, that they may have wherewith to support their Rank and Credit in the World. They may still preserve their Modesty, and their natural Affection; But Drunkenness is utterly inconsistent with any one of those Virtues which make Women amiable or valuable to Men.

I am your Friend and Reader, &c.;

Altho' it has happened, that of the four unfortunate Wretches, who within these few Weeks have died suddenly in this County, by excessive Drinking of strong Liquor, two were indeed Women; yet it must be acknowledged, that this Kind of Intemperance is by far more frequent among the Men than among them: And perhaps 'tis owing to the general Moderation of Women in the Use of strong Drink, that the present Race of Englishmen retain any considerable Degree of the Health, Robustness, and Activity of their Ancestors. There are, however, some, it seems, who, directly contrary to the Advice given by the Angel to the Mother of the strongest Man, instead of refraining all Drink that may intoxicate, are determin'd to drink nothing else. Their Fault will be its own Punishment: But what Crimes have their unhappy Offspring committed, that they are condemn'd to bring Misery into the World with them, to be born with the Seeds of many future Diseases in their Constitution.

The Practice of Drinking Drams is so general, and so well establish'd in the World at present, that some People are apt to wonder, and scarce think it possible, when they are told, that Men formerly lived and performed their Labour without it; and that 'tis scarce 50 Years since distill'd Spirits have been commonly used in England. They were first only to be found in the Apothecary's Shop, and prescrib'd by Physicians in extraordinary Cases, a Drachm at a time, whence we have the present Word Dram, but it signifies now much more than the eighth part of an Ounce. Our Forefathers, 'tis true, have had Beer many Ages; but within the Memory of Men, Temperance in Drinking was so universal amongst them, especially in the inland Country Places, that a good old Man not long since dead with us, could speak it as an extraordinary Thing, Verily, I tell thee, Friend, I knew a Smith in aoer Toon, who would sometimes go to th' Alehouse, when he had no other Business there, but to drink! Observe, it was a Smith, which is allow'd to be a thirsty Trade, and but one Smith! I am afraid we have never a modern Miracle on the other side to match it; that is to say, A Smith, or indeed any other Tradesman, in our Town, who never goes to the Tavern but when he has other Business there beside Drinking.

That decrying of Drams may not be thought the Fancy of whimsical particular Men, who love Singularity, and to talk against every thing that is in Fashion; see the united Wisdom of the British Nation, King, Lords, and Commons in Parliament assembled, condemning that Practice, in the Act made in 1729, for restraining it. The Preamble is worth transcribing. Whereas the Drinking of Spirits and strong Waters is become very common amongst the People of Inferior Rank, and the constant Use thereof tends greatly to the Destruction of th eir Healths, enervating them, and rendring them unfit for useful Labour, intoxicating them, and debauching their Morals, and leading them into all manner of Vices and Wickedness, the Prevention whereof would be of the greatest publick Good and Benefit, &c. 'Tis pity that Act had not fully its desired Effect.

I might cite the Opinions of our most famous Physicians, who are universally against the Practice we are speaking of: but I have not Room, and can only at present give a Paragraph or two from Dr. Allen's Synopsis of Physick, lately published with considerable Applause. In his Chapter of POISONS, having treated of mineral, vegetable, and animal Poisons, he concludes with this.

DISTILLED POISONS.

`There is yet another Family of Poisons, to wit, Vinous Spirits and distilled intoxicating Liquors; for the too frequent and plentiful devouring of these (as the ill Custom obtains) hath killed as many Thousands of Men as there are Stars in the Skie; nay, ten times ten hundred Thousands have died by these, more than by all the rest of Poisons whatever, which is not in the least to be doubted of; wherefore I usually call this pernicious Mischief, by way excellence, THE HARM, whether in jest or earnest I need not say. It not only occasions violent Distempers in a great many, but also sometimes sudden Death in some; for which Reason, if it does not deserve the Name of Poison, what else it would be called I can neither learn nor conjecture.

`An ungrateful Burthen lies upon generous Physicians. Those who guzzle burning Spirits Night and Day, according to their detestable Custom, perpetually tippling liquid Fire, when they have extinguished all Concoctions, enervated all the Solids, and corrupted the Liquids; and the Fabrick a long while staggering is now ready to fall, then they seek our Help. What is to be done? The Office of a Scavenger is to be performed; and perhaps when the Drain is made, and by chance the Matter retrieved, they presently return to the same Practice again, as a Dog to the Vomit, or a Sow to the Mire; and prodigal of their Lives, they shorten the remaining part of their Days. What must Physicians, or what can Divines do? Medicines can be of no Service, and they will not hearken to Counsel. All Things will be in vain, they rush into the Embraces of the wicked Poison, they become stupid and blind, deafer to Reason and Counsel than Marpassus's Rocks, they thirst forever, and drink as if bit by the Dipsas, and the more they drink the more they covet of the deadly distilled Water, with which, in as much Haste as they can, they close the Scene, even at the Point of Death calling for the Bottle. Most miserable! and deplorable!

`O happy Temperance! never too much to be praised! of the first, which thou mad'st the golden Age, the Ornament and Safeguard! thy own Persuasive and Value! worshipped and adored by all pure and pious Souls in all Ages. Thou art, if any thing in the Earth, the true Composer of Archaeus, and the Preserver of a sound Mind in a sound Body. Thou lead'st thy Adorers right on the way to a long and happy old Age, with a pleasant and youthful, graceful and lovely Countenance. To conclude, thou art adorned with the Praises even of thy Enemies, and art counted lovely by them, with whom, when thou art cast off, there remains the Curse of Satyricus, Let them see this Virtue, and waste away, since they have forsaken it.'

The Pennsylvania Gazette, February 1, 1732/3

A Meditation on a Quart Mugg

Wretched, miserable, and unhappy Mug! I pity thy luckless Lot, I commiserate thy Misfortunes, thy Griefs fill me with Compassion, and because of thee are Tears made frequently to burst from my Eyes.

How often have I seen him compell'd to hold up his Handle at the Bar, for no other Crime than that of being empty; then snatch'd away by a surly Officer, and plung'd suddenly into a Tub of cold Water: Sad Spectacle, and Emblem of human Penury, oppress'd by arbitrary Power! How often is he hurry'd down into a dismal Vault, sent up fully laden in a cold Sweat, and by a rude Hand thrust into the Fire! How often have I seen it obliged to undergo the Indignities of a dirty Wench; to have melting Candles dropt on its naked Sides, and sometimes in its Mouth, to risque being broken into a thousand Pieces, for Actions which itself was not guilty of! How often is he forced into the Company of boisterous Sots, who say all their Nonsence, Noise, profane Swearing, Cursing, and Quarreling, on the harmless Mug, which speaks not a Word! They overset him, maim him, and sometimes turn him to Arms offensive or defensive, as they please; when of himself he would not be of either Party, but would as willingly stand still. Alas! what Power, or Place, is provided, where this poor Mug, this unpitied Slave, can have Redress of his Wrongs and Sufferings? Or where shall he have a Word of Praise bestow'd on him for his Well-doings, and faithful Services? If he prove of a large size, his Owner curses him, and says he will devour more than he'll earn: If his Size be small, those whom his Master appoints him to serve will curse him as much, and perhaps threaten him with the Inquisition of the Standard. Poor Mug, unfortunate is thy Condition! Of thy self thou wouldst do no Harm, but much Harm is done with thee! Thou art accused of many Mischiefs; thou art said to administer Drunkenness, Poison, and broken Heads: But none praise thee for the good Things thou yieldest! Shouldest thou produce double Beer, nappy Ale, stallcop Cyder, or Cyder mull'd, fine Punch, or cordial Tiff; yet for all these shouldst thou not be prais'd, but the rich Liquors themselves, which tho' within thee, twill be said to be foreign to thee! And yet, so unhappy is thy Destiny, thou must bear all their Faults and Abominations! Hast thou been industriously serving thy Employers with Tiff or Punch, and instantly they dispatch thee for Cyder, then must thou be abused for smelling of Rum. Hast thou been steaming their Noses gratefully, with mull'd Cyder or butter'd Ale, and then offerest to refresh their Palates with the best of Beer, they will curse thee for thy Greasiness. And how, alas! can thy Service be rendered more tolerable to thee? If thou submittest thy self to a Scouring in the Kitchen, what must thou undergo from sharp Sand, hot Ashes, and a coarse Dishclout; besides the Danger of having thy Lips rudely torn, thy Countenance disfigured, thy Arms dismantled, and thy whole Frame shatter'd, with violent Concussions in an Iron Pot or Brass Kettle! And yet, O Mug! if these Dangers thou escapest, with little Injury, thou must at last untimely fall, be broken to Pieces, and cast away, never more to be recollected and form'd into a Quart Mug. Whether by the Fire, or in a Battle, or choak'd with a Dishclout, or by a Stroke against a Stone, thy Dissolution happens; 'tis all alike to thy avaritious Owner; he grieves not for thee, but for the Shilling with which he purchased thee! If thy Bottom-Part should chance to survive, it may be preserv'd to hold Bits of Candles, or Blacking for Shoes, or Salve for kibed Heels; but all thy other Members will be for ever buried in some miry Hole; or less carefully disposed of, so that little Children, who have not yet arrived to Acts of Cruelty, may gather them up to furnish out their Baby-Houses: Or, being cast upon the Dunghill, they will therewith be carted into Meadow Grounds; where, being spread abroad and discovered, they must be thrown to the Heap of Stones, Bones, and Rubbish; or being left until the Mower finds them with his Scythe, they will with bitter Curses be tossed over the Hedge; and so serve for unlucky Boys to throw at Birds and Dogs; until by Length of Time and numerous Casualties, they shall be press'd into their Mother Earth, and be converted to their original Principles.

The Pennsylvania Gazette, July 19, 1733

Blackamore, on Mulatto Gentlemen

Set a Beggar on Horseback, &c. Chesh.

Mr. Gazetteer,

It is observed concerning the Generation of Molattoes, that they are seldom well belov'd either by the Whites or the Blacks. Their Approach towards Whiteness, makes them look back with some kind of Scorn the Colour they seem to have left, while the Negroes, who do not think them better than themselves, return their Contempt with Interest: And the Whites, who respect them no Whit the more for the nearer Affinity in Colour, are apt to regard their Behaviour as too bold and assuming, and bordering upon Impudence. As they are next to Negroes, and but just above 'em, they are terribly afraid of being thought Negroes, and therefore avoid as much as possible their Company or Commerce: and Whitefolks are as little fond of the Company of Molattoes.

When People by their Industry or good Fortune, from mean Beginnings find themselves in Circumstances a little more easy, there is an Ambition seizes many of them immediately to become Gentlefolks: But 'tis no easy Thing for a Clown or a Labourer, on a sudden to hit in all respects, the natural and easy Manner of those who have been genteely educated: And 'tis the Curse of Imitation, that it almost always either under-does or over-does.

The true Gentleman, who is well known to be such, can take a Walk, or drink a Glass, and converse freely, if there be occasion, with honest Men of any Degree below him, without degrading or fearing to degrade himself in the least. For my Part, I am an ordinary Mechanick, and I pray I may always have the Grace to know my self and my Station. As little as I have learnt of the World, whenever I find a Man well dress'd whom I do not know, and observe him mighty cautious how he mixes in Company, or converses, or engages in any kind of equal Affair with such as appear to be his Inferiors; I always judge him, and I generally find him, to be some new Gentleman, or rather half Gentleman, or Mungrel, an unnatural Compound of Earth and Brass like the Feet of Nebuchadnezzar's Image. And if in the Way of my Business, I find some young Woman Mistress of a newly fine furnished House, treating me with a kind of Superiority, a distant sort of Freedom, and a high Manner of Condescension that might become a Governor's Lady, I cannot help imagining her to be some poor Girl that is but lately well married: Or if I see something in her very haughty and imperious, I conclude that 'tis not long since she was somebody's Servant Maid.

With Regard to the Respect shown them by the true Gentry and the no Gentry, our half Gentry are exactly in the Case of the Mulattoes abovementioned. They are the Ridicule and Contempt of both sides.

There is my former Acquaintance (but now he cannot speak to me) the lumpish stupid Jack Chopstick, while he kept in his natural Sphere, which (as that of all heavy Bodies) is the lowest, the Figure he made among Acquaintance of his own Rank was well enough; none of us envy'd him, 'tis true, nor none of us despis'd him: But now he has got a little Money, the Case is exceedingly alter'd. Without Experience of Men or Knowledge of Books, or even common Wit, the vain Fool thrusts himself into Conversation with People of the best Sense and the most polite. All his Absurdities, which were scarcely taken Notice of among us, stand evident among them, and afford them continual Matter of Diversion. At the same time, we below cannot help considering him as a Monkey that climbs a Tree, the higher he goes, the more he shows his Arse.

To conclude with the Thought I began; there are perhaps Molattoes in Religion, in Politicks, in Love, and in several other Things; but of all sorts of Molattoes, none appear to me so monstrously ridiculous as the Molatto Gentleman.

I am Yours, &c.
BLACKAMORE.

The Pennsylvania Gazette, August 30, 1733

Brave Men at Fires

To the Publisher of the GAZETTE.

An experienc'd Writer has said, there was never a great Man that was not an industrious Man, and I believe that there never was a good Man that was a lazy Man. This may serve to introduce a few Thoughts I have had while meditating on the Circumstances of Buildings on Fire, and the Persons there gather'd. Accidental Fires in Houses are most frequent in the Winter and in the Night Time: But neither Cold nor Darkness will deter good People, who are able, from hastening to the dreadful Place, and giving their best Assistance to quench the Flames; nor wicked People from making as much Haste to pilfer; nor others to be idle Spectators. The two latter Sort are not to be easily instructed and made good; and as it is not in my Power to punish them otherwise than by despising them, as all good People do, I shall here neglect to characterize them further.

The brave Men who at Fires are active and speedy with their best Advice and Example, or the Labour of their Hands, are uppermost in my Thoughts. This kind of Industry seems to me a great Virtue. He that is afraid to leave a warm Bed, and to walk in the Dark, and to dawb or tear his Clothes or his Skin; He that makes no Difference between Virtue and Vice, and takes no Pleasure in Hospitality; and He that cares not who suff ers, if he himself gains by it, or suffers not; will not any one of them, be industriously concern'd (if their own Dwellings are out of Danger) in preserving from devouring Flames either private or publick Buildings.

But how pleasing must it be to a thinking Man to observe, that not a Fire happens in this Town, but soon after it is seen and cry'd out, the Place is crowded by active Men of different Ages, Professions and Titles; who, as of one Mind and Rank, apply themselves with all Vigilance and Resolution, according to their Abilities, to the hard Work of conquering the increasing Fire. Some of the chiefest in Authority, and numbers of good Housekeepers, are ever ready, not only to direct but to labour, and are not seen to shun Parts or Places the most hazardous; and Others who having scarce a Coat in the World besides that on their Backs, will venture that, and their Limbs, in saving of Goods surrounded with Fire, and in rending off flaming Shingles. They do it not for Sake of Reward of Money or Fame: There is no Provision of either made for them. But they have a Reward in themselves, and they love one another. If it were prudent to mention Names, and could Virtue be prais'd without Danger of Envy and Calumny rising against her, I should rejoyce to know a skilful Pen employ'd, to distinguish, in lively Expressions and significant Language, Men so deserving.

This poor Paper shall praise them altogether; and while neither its Author nor they are nam'd, Virtue will be its own Reward, and Envy and Calumny have no Body to point at. Ye Men of Courage, Industry, and Goodness, continue thus in well doing; and if you grow not ostentatious, it will be thought by every good Man who sees your Performances; here are brave Men, Men of Spirit and Humanity, good Citizens, or Neighbours, capable and worthy of civil Society, and the Enjoyment of a happy Government. We see where these Men are, and what they are busy about; they are not snoring in their Beds after a De bauch; they are not employ'd in any Crimes for Concealment whereof the Vicious chuse the Night Season, nor do they prefer their own Ease at Home to the Safety of other Peoples Fortunes or Lives. See there a gallant Man who has rescu'd Children from the Flames! -- Another receives in his Arms a poor scorch'd Creature escaping out at a Window! -- Another is loaded with Papers and the best Furniture, and secures them for the Owner. -- What daring Souls are cutting away the flaming Roof to stop the Fires Progress to others! -- How vigorously do these brave Fellows hand along the Water and work the Engines, and assist the Ladders; and with what Presence of Mind, Readiness and Clearness, do these fine Men observe, advise and direct. Here are Heroes and effective Men fit to compose the Prime of an Army, and to either lay or defend a Siege or Storm.

This little City, but esteem'd great of its Age, owes not more at this Day for its long Streets and fair Stories, to Architects of any kind, than to those worthy Inhabitants, who have always started at the first Warning, to oppose and vanquish the Rage of Fire.

Besides the Pains freely taken by a great many good People in putting out Fires, some are at the Expence of Buckets and Ladders; without which the Business could not be done. And if it be a Duty incumbent on all that can afford it, to provide such useful Implements, I am of Opinion that it is most so on those, who being decrepid or infirm, cannot assist in Person; or who wearing costly Clothes, would not risque their being spoil'd. But such as can neither advise nor labour, should not stand in the Way of others who can, and are willing.

It is true indeed, as well among Men as Bees, that some Drones are in every Hive or Swarm; but I hope there are few so void of Consideration, and Regard to private and publick Safety, as a vagabond Fellow at the late Fire, who, being smartly ask'd by an industrious young Man, why he did not lend a Hand to the Buck ets, answer'd, He car'd not if all the Houses in Town were o'Fire: For which he receiv'd a Bucket of Water on his impudent Face. This was a fit Reward, as it was near at Hand and took up a little Time to give it, but I doubt not a large Majority of People think with me, that he deserves a Punishment much greater and more exemplary.

December 1. 1733. Pennsilvanus.

The Pennsylvania Gazette, December 20, 1733