Archive for August, 2007

The Boring Ultimatum

Wednesday, August 8th, 2007

The Bourne Ultimatum isn’t the worst movie I’ve seen, but it’s far from the best. There is lots of confusing photography, running, shooting, fighting, and exploding, but almost no plot. It doesn’t come close to measuring up to the first two Bourne movies. It’s confusing and a little boring. I actually drifted off to sleep a couple of times in the first thirty minutes.

Julia Stiles is cute, as usual, but that seems to be the only reason she is there. She adds nothing important to the plot. They must have finished filming and then realized there was no romantic interest, no lady in distress, so they called up Stiles and asked if she could reenact a few scenes of another character from the first Bourne movie.

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Best Commercial

Saturday, August 4th, 2007

And for best TV commercial, my vote goes to All-Bran Yogurt Bites for the funniest, most unsubtle subliminal messages ever.

What’s Sicker Than Dead?

Friday, August 3rd, 2007

Mercedes Velarde has been keeping her dead husband on the floor next to her bed for the past year. And what’s even sicker than that? Her son has been helping her pick the worms off of him. The Reuters article says, “[Authorities] believe the man, in his early 60s, had mental problems that may have been linked to his death.” Evidently, his mental problems were contagious and/or hereditary. Has anyone checked to see if Mercedes might also be his sister? The article continues, “‘Yes, these people have psychological problems, [but] they hid a corpse. Even if it is a family member, they committed a crime,’ Veronica Sanchez at the Mexico City attorney general’s office told Reuters.” I agree. Too bad all “authorities” can’t have the same attitude towards all crime.

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Worst Commercials

Thursday, August 2nd, 2007

My votes for worst commercials on the air today go to:

1) Panera Bread. I don’t know if they were going for Wild Kingdom narrator or Pro Bowling announcer, but what they got is just annoying.

2) Salad Spritzer. Is it fun? Really???  It’s even higher on the irritation scale than Gwen Stefani’s latest pop abomination. Twenty or thirty-something women jumping for joy and practically wetting themselves over the ecstasy of spraying their salad with weak dressing. Wow. I want to go out and buy a case of Salad Spritzer right now. And then, to the blaring background noise of “Bubble Pop Electric,” I want to go Gallagher on each bottle right on Wish-Bone’s front steps in protest for having been subjected to this horrible commercial.