Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

Love?

Saturday, February 13th, 2010

Leviticus 19:18  Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.

Leviticus 19:34  But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the LORD your God.

Deuteronomy 6:5  And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

Deuteronomy 10:12  And now, Israel, what doth the LORD thy God require of thee, but to fear the LORD thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the LORD thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul,

Deuteronomy 10:19  Love ye therefore the stranger: for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt.

Deuteronomy 11:1  Therefore thou shalt love the LORD thy God, and keep his charge, and his statutes, and his judgments, and his commandments, alway.

Deuteronomy 13:3  …for the LORD your God proveth you, to know whether ye love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul.

Deuteronomy 30:16  …I command thee this day to love the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments, that thou mayest live and multiply: and the LORD thy God shall bless thee in the land whither thou goest to possess it.

Joshua 22:5  But take diligent heed to do the commandment and the law, which Moses the servant of the LORD charged you, to love the LORD your God, and to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments, and to cleave unto him, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Joshua 23:11  Take good heed therefore unto yourselves, that ye love the LORD your God.

Nehemiah 1:5  …O LORD God of heaven, the great and terrible God, that keepeth covenant and mercy for them that love him and observe his commandments…

Psalms 31:23  O love the LORD, all ye his saints: for the LORD preserveth the faithful, and plentifully rewardeth the proud doer.

Psalms 97:10  Ye that love the LORD, hate evil: he preserveth the souls of his saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked.

Proverbs 10:12  Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

Proverbs 17:9  He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.

Matthew 5:44  …Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

Matthew 19:19   …Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Mark 12:29-31  And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is,  Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord:  (30)  And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.  (31)  And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Mark 12:33  And to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love his neighbour as himself, is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.

John 14:15  If ye love me, keep my commandments.

John 15:9  As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.

John 15:12  This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

Romans 12:10  Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

Romans 13:9  For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Ephesians 4:2-3  With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;  (3)  Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Ephesians 5:1-2  Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;  (2)  And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.

Ephesians 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

1 Thessalonians 3:12  And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another, and toward all men, even as we do toward you:

1 Thessalonians 4:9  But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.

1 Timothy 6:11  But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.

Titus 2:4  …teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children

Hebrews 10:24  And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works…

Hebrews 13:1  Let brotherly love continue.

James 2:8  If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well…

1 Peter 1:22  Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently.

1 Peter 2:17  Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.

1 Peter 3:8-9  Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:  (9)  Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

1 John 3:11  For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.

1 John 3:18  My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

1 John 4:7-8  Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.  (8)  He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

1 John 4:21  And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.

2 John 1:5-6  And now I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that which we had from the beginning, that we love one another.  (6)  And this is love, that we walk after his commandments. This is the commandment, That, as ye have heard from the beginning, ye should walk in it.

Love. Love. Love. Love. Love.

We are commanded over and over again to love, but do we even know what love is? The scriptures are clear to an extent: To love God is to obey his commandments. To love others is to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to heal the sick. We have heard these things so many times that they have become meaningless!

What does it really mean to feed the hungry? Do we all need to go volunteer at the local Rescue Mission? Should we haul a pot of soup under the nearest bridge? What? What if there aren’t any destitute nearby? What if you don’t know where to find them? Should we just give some money to the Salvation Army and let them handle it? Is it enough just to be kind to those closest to you?

What does it really mean to obey God’s commands? Do I love God if I wear my tzitziyot religiously? Do I love him if I read the Torah and teach it to others? What!?

It truly bothers me that I am asking these questions. I feel that I should know without any hesitation what it means to love in every circumstance. I pray for the time when God’s law will be fully written on my heart, but that day isn’t now. There are many things that I don’t understand, many instances in which I have not shown love or even knew what love would be.

I have written a book examining the manual on marital and familial love, and I intend to write a few more, but still my understanding of love has not approached what it ought to be. This will be the focus of my Torah studies from now on because if keeping Torah doesn’t teach you to love, then you are not keeping Torah. “Unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and pharisees you will in no case enter the kingdom of heaven.” The pharisees didn’t love God; they loved their traditions. If you obey all the rules and say all the right things, yet don’t have love, you don’t have anything.

Mishpatim 5770 – Property Rights

Saturday, February 13th, 2010

Mishpatim lists a seemingly random set of commandments, but a closer look shows that they are not really so random. The common theme is property rights.

Exodus 21:1 Introduction
Exodus 21:2-11 Rights of a master over a slave.
Exodus 21:12-36 Rights of a person over his own life and limb
Exodus 22:1-15 Rights of the owner of livestock, crops, and other property
Exodus 22:16-17 Rights of a father and future husband over a daughter and future bride
Exodus 22:18-23:19 God’s expectations of those to whom he has delegated authority
Exodus 23:20-23 God’s expectations of those under delegated authority
Exodus 23:24-33 Rights of God over his property
Exodus 24:1-18 Closing

A word about the rights of fathers over their daughters…I wrote in A Commentary on Marriage in the Bible that a father always has the right to veto his daughter’s choice of husband. I no longer believe that to be completely true. Matot (Numbers 30-32) says that a father may annul the vows of his unmarried daughter still living in his house. I have had occasion since then to learn something of the life of an unmarried daughter who is not still living in her father’s house, and it seems to me that Matot should be taken literally on that point. If she left her father’s house with his consent and has lived on her own for many years, then she should probably be accorded the status of a widow or divorcee, responsible for her own finances, decisions, and vows.

Increasing Complexity

Monday, February 8th, 2010

In the sequence of Creation as depicted in Genesis chapter one, God handiwork becomes more and more complex as the week goes on. First light, then stars and planets, then plants, then animals, then man, and finally woman, who truly is the piece de resistance of God’s creativity.

Yitro 5770 – Father Sky, Mother Earth

Friday, February 5th, 2010

Exodus 20:24-26  You shall make an altar of earth to Me, and shall sacrifice on it your burnt offerings and your peace offerings, your sheep and your oxen. In all places where I record My name I will come to you, and I will bless you.  (25)  And if you will make Me an altar of stone, you shall not build it of cut stone. For if you lift up your tool upon it, you have defiled it.  (26)  And you shall not go up by steps to My altar, that your nakedness be not uncovered on it.

In a very real sense, God is our father and the earth our mother. The God of heaven took a bit of earth and breathed his spirit into it, creating life. This fact in combination with the astounding miracles of reproduction, of putting seeds in the ground so that they will sprout and produce more seeds, of a man and woman joining their bodies to create a new person, could easily lead people into fertility cults. If imitation is the sincerest flattery, how better can we worship the Creator than through an act of creation? The command to make an altar of earth in order to worship the God of heaven re-emphasizes our descent from these two. However, there are two more commands attached to this one that strongly imply God does not approve of sex as an act of worship.

In the first command, God says we are not to build the altar with cut stones. We might have ideas about how to make a more beautiful altar, but God has said he will prepare the stones. We get to select them and place them, but the materials and format are strictly up to him. God wants his worship, his way, not ours. He has told us how he is to be worshiped, and, although we might have a great deal of leeway in some of the details, we are not free to improvise however we choose. Although he commanded us to reproduce, he did not command us to worship him through the reproductive act.

In the second command, God says the altar should be placed so as to avoid even accidental exposure of the priest’s nakedness. If there was any doubt as to whether nudity should or should not be a part of overt worship, that should quell it.

A Rod for the Fool’s Back

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

In the introduction to A Commentary on Marriage in the Bible, I wrote,

I realize the irony of a divorced man writing a book on marriage. My only defense is that I was once much more a fool than I am today, and change did not come easily.

That statement becomes more true every day. I can’t help but look back at myself with amazement. How did I bear myself? How did God bear me? Even as I know that I am less a fool today than yesterday, the reminder is humbling. Tomorrow I will be even less the fool, which means I am still a fool today.

My stripes have been painfully earned, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I consider each one a mile marker on a one-way road. Each one brings me one step closer to the man God wants me to be.

Free eBook

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

You can still buy the hardcopy of A Commentary on Marriage in the Bible, volume 1: the Torah at Amazon (see the link to the right), but now you can get a full pdf file right here.

More Database Woes

Sunday, December 27th, 2009

Somehow in the course of upgrading and then restoring my WordPress database, the Marriage category was dropped and all of its blog posts were added to the History category. I don’t know if I’ll get around to fixing all of them. Just so you know…

Prohibited Degrees of Kinship

Saturday, December 26th, 2009

There are numerous methods of charting degrees of consanguinity, so I thought I should post something about my own. Especially since I mentioned in my book that God prohibits marriage to anyone closer than the fourth degree. Ancestors and descendants, aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces, and siblings are all out of bounds. First cousins are acceptable. At least to God. You might feel differently. Don’t use this chart for legal purposes, of course. Many jurisdictions define the degrees differently.

degrees-of-consanguinity.jpg

Marriage in the Bible

Books in My Queue

Monday, December 7th, 2009

My current reading queue after I finish a book on IT consulting:

  1. What is the Truth? Scott Ledbetter
  2. The Messianic Revelation Series V.1. Announcing: Judgment Day Eliyahu ben David
  3. Man and Woman in Biblical Law, Part 2: They Shall Be One Flesh Tom Shipley

I’ll try to let you know what I think.

A Christian Understanding of Polygyny

Friday, December 4th, 2009

Mark Niwot posted a great article showing a biblical understanding of marriage and polygyny at Helium.

Scripture repeatedly commands (Deut. 4:2 and 12:32, Rev. 22:18-19, etc) that man is not to “add to” nor “subtract from” the Written Word of God. Our Savior was likewise critical (Matthew 23 is just one obvious example) of those “Hypocrites!” who took it upon themselves to insert their own “traditions” into “law” and thus make His commandments “of no effect”. (Matt. 15:6, Mark 7:13, etc.) But there is perhaps no better example of a false doctrine elevated by tradition alone to the status of unquestioned “Law” than the false idol of Monogamy….