Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

Seraphim Falls into the Twilight Zone

Saturday, May 26th, 2007

Don’t read the synopsis on the back DVD cover. It ruins half the fun.

From a distance, Seraphim Falls is very familiar to fans of Westerns. Liam Neeson and Pierce Brosnan play the staple Western roles of posse leader and fugitive. They’re both brutal, ruthless men with a streak of kindness. They both suffered tragedy in the Civil War, and on their shoulders they both carry a chip the size of Death Valley. I half expected one of them to start sporting a well-chewed cigar or spitting chew on the town stray dog. Fortunately, a few things really make this movie different.

First, there is some really first class talent. In addition to Brosnan and Neeson, Michael Wincott plays a prominent character, and Anjelica Huston makes a memorable and completely nutty cameo.

Second, there are some great one-liners. “Only dead men know the end of war,” sticks in my mind.

Third, there are some completely insane twilight zone things going on. There’s a cult of religous pilgrims, who I kept expecting to turn cannibal. What exactly was in that week-old stew, anyway? There’s the constant reversals of fortune. One guy has the horse, then the other guy has the horse. One guy has the gun, then the other guy has the gun. One guy has the water, then the other guy has the water. Then they do it all over again. There’s the Indian guru on the mountain in the desert. Except he’s a Native American Indian, and not even a distant cousin of Prabupadha. And he’s an extortionist. With a moral purpose. Finally something wicked out of nowhere cometh in the person of Huston, who wraps all the craziness into a series of extortion-laden, role-reversing, morality plays that culminate in the final scene in which you know exactly what’s coming, but you just can’t bring yourself to accept it.

It’s a fun, but jarring movie.

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The Jacket

Monday, April 16th, 2007

Adrien Brody plays Jack Starks who suffers a head wound in Iraq in 1991 and loses the capacity to remember. (That sounds familiar.) He then becomes the unwilling subject of psychiatric experiments that trigger bizarre flashbacks of things past and future. (Hmm. That sounds familiar too.) He bounces back and forth between the present and the future, setting up patricidal-like paradoxes in the lives of everyone around him. (Deja vous. Weird.) Surprisingly, somewhere between Memento, Jacob’s Ladder, and The Butterfly Effect, this movie still manages to be pretty good.

It doesn’t hurt that the amazingly hot, no-longer-skin-and-bones Keira Knightley plays second.

2005. Also stars Kris Kristofferson and Jennifer Jason Leigh.

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Bo 5767 – Choosing To Live

Tuesday, January 30th, 2007

Bo, one week late. 

Ancient Egypt was obsessed with Death. They wrote about death. They worshipped gods and goddesses of death. They built gigantic monuments to the dead. They amassed fortunes in metals, tools, and slaves, thinking they could take them with to the other side.

They rejected the God of Life.

In many ways our own culture mirrors theirs. We talk about death. We sing about it. We imitate it. We constantly invent new ways to cause it. We are always at war.

We have chosen to embrace death and to reject the God of Life.

Stephen Baars wrote that choice equals life. He was right in a way. Pharaoh chose to kill the children of Israel and his people’s children were killed. A later pharaoh chose to reject God’s reasonable offers. Choice and life were then taken from him and his people. Every choice either adds to or takes away from our life.

Choose life.

If you choose to spend your days watching television, you are choosing death. You are surrendering active participation in your own life in favor of passive observation of someone else’s life. More often than not, that other life is a fiction. It is not real and can never be real. It is death. Video games aren’t much better. You might be participating, but it is still fiction, and it can still never be life.

In order to live, you must choose to live. You must get off your couch and do something. Take a walk, learn a skill, have a conversation, sing a song, go to church, anything that advances and builds your life.

But be careful. Doing something isn’t always the same as living. There are many active choices you can make that will still take away from your life. Sports and physical activity enhance life, but somewhere there is a line beyond which sports become an invitation to death. Socializing, singing, dancing, laughing, drinking, and eating are all wonderful parts of life, but they can all steal from your life if taken in the wrong measures or in the wrong company. Love definitely adds to life, but imblanced or untimely expressions of love only bring death. Both God and the Devil are in the details.

We should thank God that he has set us free from slavery so that we can make our own choices. We should also thank God that he has given us guidelines to help us make good decisions, to help us choose life.

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Click Doesn’t Click

Thursday, December 14th, 2006

Click, starring Adam Sandler, is another “could have been.” It’s a creative twist on the Wonderful Life theme, but a few things completely ruin it.

First, there’s Adam Sandler married to Kate Beckinsale. Total disconnect. That taxed my willing-suspension-of-disbelief muscles to their utmost limits. I wouldn’t call Adam Sandler ugly or anything, but Kate is about as close to physical perfection as a woman can be. It’s like the princess being happy with the first frog who hopped along and didn’t turn into a prince.

Second, there’s the language. It wasn’t terrible, but it was bad enough that I didn’t want my son to hear it.

Third, and most assuredly worst, there are the dogs. The shadow sex was bad enough, but the constant cuts to the family dog with the stuffed duck (and the dog’s owners reactions to this) was way over the line. It wasn’t cute. It wasn’t funny. It was stupid and sick.
The story has a great moral, and some of the final scenes were really well written. It’s too bad that there is no way that I will allow this movie back into my house.

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A Perfect Day for Hunting Space Rocks

Wednesday, October 25th, 2006

And speaking of Plan Nine from Outer Space, I watched The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra tonight. It’s a spoof on the campy sci-fi flicks of the forties, fifties, and sixties. There was the three-eyed fish mutant in love with the pretty girl, the skeleton in love with the dingy she-alien, the stupid PhD’d scientist who wasn’t in love with the forest animals he transmographied into a weekend date (who did a mighty fine rock dance, I must admit), the brainy-but-worldly-wise scientist, and the philosophically challenged he-alien. It was hypnotically dull one moment and riotiously funny the next. I don’t know that I would ever buy the dvd, but it was worth the rental fee.

If you like scenery.

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The Wisdom of Crocodiles

Monday, October 16th, 2006

Jude Law plays a mysterious and talented loner who also happens to be a serial killer. He targets emotionally vulnerable women, gets them to fall in love with him, drinks their blood, and then collects their essense in the form of kidney stones. Sort of. It sounds like the only plot worse than Plan Nine From Outer Space, but I thought it really played out well. Elina Löwensohn’s slightly off-kilter beauty was a good match for Law’s character. I’m eight years late (this movie was released in 1998), but I’ll still recommend this one. Not for the kiddies, though, because of the violence and nudity.
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C for Could Have Been

Sunday, September 10th, 2006

…great, but their aim was off. V for Vendetta has a lot of things going for it, but a lot wrong with it too. I have never read the comic books, so understand that my comments refer only to the movie.

Violence. Vendetta is a violent movie. Violence, of itself, isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it’s necessary. Our very civilization is in part built on the idea that some problems must be solved with violence. The police and military carry weapons for that reason, as do many private citizens. Most of us do not see that as a problem so long as those weapons are not abused. Unfortunately, those who intend to abuse their weapons usually do disagree, which is why the German government disarmed its people years before the extent of their depravity became obvious to everyone. It is also why corrupt politicians still use fear to manipulate their people into willingly surrender their weapons today.

The character of V is violent and brutally so. Somewhere in the course of his sufferings, he lost all normal compunctions against the use of violence to accomplish a goal. He is consumed by his hatred and bitterness. Destruction, sadism, and killing are their fruit. In his defense, I must say that brutality sometimes calls for brutality in return. The film-makers don’t appear to intend to promote violence, however much they use it to attract viewers. In that, they are simply catering to a market, giving people what they will pay to see.

Terrorism. Terrorism has been defined as the use of violence to induce fear in order to accomplish a goal. Unfortunately, that’s a near meaningless definition. All politics is terrorism by that standard. If you don’t want your city taking your house to build a shopping mall, there really isn’t anything you can do about it anymore. If you try, then men with guns will stop you. They don’t really want to shoot you, and probably won’t as long as you are fearful enough to stop short of using your own gun. They are, therefore, terrorists. They use violence or the threat of violence to induce fear and compliance in you.

However, there is a fundamental difference between the “terrorism” of V and the terrorism of Hezbollah. V never once targets children or innocent bystanders. He kills soldiers, thugs, and corrupt politicians, all legitimate war-time targets by almost any standards. Hezbollah, on the other hand, deliberately targets the most innocent and unsuspecting people they can find. Even in the special features, the film-makers continuously refer to V as a terrorist, but they are terribly mistaken.

Religion. Religion is portrayed as the rallying cry of the totalitarian government. As a religious man, that rubs me the wrong way a little. But only a little. It is a fact that religion has very often been used as the excuse of power-seekers to root out and persecute dissenters and to rally support for one cause or another. They seldom actually believe their own lies; religion is only their tool. That seemed to be the case here, too. It would have been nice, however, if one or two of the protaganists had displayed an appreciation for true religion.

Homosexuality. There are so many more deserving groups of people the writers could have chosen to champion. Unlike the movie’s violence, it was overwhelmingly obvious that the homosexual content was meant to be promotional. It seemed that at every turn homosexuals were lifted up as a persecuted nobility. The writers condemned the preaching of one kind of morality, while serving up their own, which actually runs counter to what has been held by the majority of people in our own society, and indeed throughout the entire world and all its history.

There is nothing noble about homosexuality or its practitioners. Don’t get me wrong. I am certain there are some very good people, even noble people, who also happen to be homosexuals. But it is not what they do in bed that makes them noble, and neither does standing up to torture and death for their right to commit sodomy. That just makes them terribly misguided and a poor heroic focus for a film.

I would love to say that V for Vendetta is a great movie, but it’s not. It could have been if they had chosen to elevate a persecuted minority whom I could respect. Fahrenheit 451 is great. V for Vendetta is such a disappointment. In fact, because it promotes behavior that my God says should be punished by death, I cannot even allow it into my house again.

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I Love Your Work

Thursday, August 31st, 2006

In I Love Your Work Giovanni Ribisi plays another pathetic creep–this time a Hollywood actor–but I got the idea that his character wouldn’t have been such creep if he had a more normal job. There’s a good chance he’d still be pathetic, though. The Hollywood Reporter apparently called this “an intense story.” I suppose you might think so if you were (or imagined yourself to be) a famous movie star, who liked to watch movies about himself. Oddly enough, Ribisi’s character has dreams about watching himself emoting in silent films, and there’s a scene in which he is offered a discount on the purchase price of his own movies. I suspect there might be some truth buried in there.

Anyway, I thought that watching this movie seemed a bit like watching an actor practicing faces in the mirror. I turned it off after thirty-five minutes. If it hadn’t been for Christina Ricci’s periodic appearances, I would have turned it off even sooner.

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The Big White

Wednesday, August 30th, 2006

Robin Williams plays a down-on-his-luck travel agent who finds a body in a dumpster. He stages a wild animal mauling to disguise the body’s identity and passes it off as his long missing brother so he can collect on a million dollar insurance policy. It’s a funny plot, and Williams is great as always, but Holly Hunter and Giovanni Ribisi really make this movie. Hunter is an absolute riot, and Ribisi always plays a great pathetic creep.

Pretty good sound track too.

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The Legend of Zorro–an alternate history

Saturday, June 17th, 2006

The Legend of Zorro was an entertaining movie with some fun fight scenes, but there were definitely some strange things going on:

>The Confederacy existed in 1850.

>Cowboys and illiterate hoodlums carried sabres.

>An ultra-secret order of knights established during the crusades ruled the world until the United States and Allan Pinkerton came to the rescue.

These people have been watching too much History Channel.

The drinking, smoking, visual-wise-cracking horse stole the show.

2006-06-19 Update: I appreciated the pro-father elements in Zorro 2, although it occurs to me now that the makers might have intended to convey a different message than the one I heard. Life’s responsibilities are sometimes much bigger than today. Feelings and ideals about “quality time” and nurturing sometimes have to take a back seat to duty.