1. You’re a bitch
2. You’re shallow
3. You’re a slut
4. You’re a liar
5. You’re selfish
6. You’re not good enough

The last paragraph is especially good:

The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don’t deserve it. Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to. But as you give him love anyway — because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self — you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:

Love.

Moses came down from Sinai to find the people worshiping and sacrificing to the golden calf, and God said, “Step aside, Moses. I’m going to destroy these people and start over with you.” Moses refused and appealed to God’s reputation to convince him not to destroy Israel. “What will the Egyptians think of you?” God honored Moses’ plea and spared the nation. (Exodus 32:7-14)

Although God had said that the only place authorized for making sacrifices was at the place where he would “put his name,” Elijah built an altar at the other end of the country. After he put the sacrifice on it and soaked it with water, he asked God to light it for him, and God did, sending fire from heaven to consume it, stones, water, and all. (1 Kings 18:18-40)

Why didn’t God push Moses out of the way and finish what he started? It’s not like Moses actually had any real power. Who is man that God should listen to him? Why didn’t he tell Elijah to go to Jerusalem for his contest with the prophets of Baal? Why did he honor Elijah’s disobedience in such a spectacular manner?

The truth is that neither Moses nor Elijah were actually disobedient. If you have been keeping Torah for long, then you have probably realized that there are times when you must break (or stretch) one law in order to keep another. For example, it’s good to work on the Sabbath in order to free a trapped animal or to heal an injured man or feed the hungry. That’s not disobedience at all, but sometimes it takes a great deal of wisdom to weigh the competing priorities. The same thing is going on in both of these stories.

In the Torah, God never named the specific place that would bear his name. It is possible that he could change the location authorized for sacrifices or even authorize multiple locations. There is some room for interpretation in that law (Deuteronomy 12:11). On the other hand, there can be no compromise with Baal or his prophets. We are not to tolerate them, and especially not in the land of Israel. That is God’s land, and they were interlopers. Elijah took the fight into the place they thought of as their own, rebuilt one of God’s altars and proved who was the real owner. He understood God’s character well enough to know which rule took precedence in that situation.

God gave Moses authority over and responsibility for the people of Israel. He was their judge, teacher, and protector. He was the man whom God used to free them from captivity. When they fought the Amalekites, Moses’ upraised arms enabled their victory. When they complained against God, his intercession saved them from destruction. Moses, by divine appointment and as a type of the Messiah, was a spiritual covering for Israel. When God threatened to destroy them, Moses was duty-bound to intervene even against God himself. His role as Israel’s leader took precedence over any possible role as the progenitor of a new people, and he honored God by putting his own life on the line to save his disobedient, ungrateful people.* “God if you will destroy these people, then destroy me too, because otherwise I will have failed them, you, and myself.” Like Elijah, he had a heart that understood God’s.

I pray that YHWH will bless me with such understanding, with such love, with such a relationship with him, that I will know how to obey him even when obedience seems impossible, how to honor his calling, his people, and his Torah. Barukh YHWH!

*What a great example for all leaders and husbands! Moses put his own life in jeopardy because his love for God and his people demanded it.

Leviticus 19:34  But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the LORD your God.

Deuteronomy 6:5  And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

Deuteronomy 10:12  And now, Israel, what doth the LORD thy God require of thee, but to fear the LORD thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the LORD thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul,

Deuteronomy 10:19  Love ye therefore the stranger: for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt.

Deuteronomy 11:1  Therefore thou shalt love the LORD thy God, and keep his charge, and his statutes, and his judgments, and his commandments, alway.

Deuteronomy 13:3  …for the LORD your God proveth you, to know whether ye love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul.

Deuteronomy 30:16  …I command thee this day to love the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments, that thou mayest live and multiply: and the LORD thy God shall bless thee in the land whither thou goest to possess it.

Joshua 22:5  But take diligent heed to do the commandment and the law, which Moses the servant of the LORD charged you, to love the LORD your God, and to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments, and to cleave unto him, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Joshua 23:11  Take good heed therefore unto yourselves, that ye love the LORD your God.

Nehemiah 1:5  …O LORD God of heaven, the great and terrible God, that keepeth covenant and mercy for them that love him and observe his commandments…

Psalms 31:23  O love the LORD, all ye his saints: for the LORD preserveth the faithful, and plentifully rewardeth the proud doer.

Psalms 97:10  Ye that love the LORD, hate evil: he preserveth the souls of his saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked.

Proverbs 10:12  Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

Proverbs 17:9  He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.

Matthew 5:44  …Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

Matthew 19:19   …Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Mark 12:29-31  And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is,  Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord:  (30)  And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.  (31)  And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Mark 12:33  And to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love his neighbour as himself, is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.

John 14:15  If ye love me, keep my commandments.

John 15:9  As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.

John 15:12  This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

Romans 12:10  Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

Romans 13:9  For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Ephesians 4:2-3  With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;  (3)  Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Ephesians 5:1-2  Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;  (2)  And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.

Ephesians 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

1 Thessalonians 3:12  And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another, and toward all men, even as we do toward you:

1 Thessalonians 4:9  But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.

1 Timothy 6:11  But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.

Titus 2:4  …teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children…

Hebrews 10:24  And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works…

Hebrews 13:1  Let brotherly love continue.

James 2:8  If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well…

1 Peter 1:22  Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently.

1 Peter 2:17  Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.

1 Peter 3:8-9  Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:  (9)  Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

1 John 3:11  For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.

1 John 3:18  My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

1 John 4:7-8  Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.  (8)  He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

1 John 4:21  And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.

2 John 1:5-6  And now I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that which we had from the beginning, that we love one another.  (6)  And this is love, that we walk after his commandments. This is the commandment, That, as ye have heard from the beginning, ye should walk in it.

Love. Love. Love. Love. Love.

We are commanded over and over again to love, but do we even know what love is? The scriptures are clear to an extent: To love God is to obey his commandments. To love others is to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to heal the sick. We have heard these things so many times that they have become meaningless!

What does it really mean to feed the hungry? Do we all need to go volunteer at the local Rescue Mission? Should we haul a pot of soup under the nearest bridge? What? What if there aren’t any destitute nearby? What if you don’t know where to find them? Should we just give some money to the Salvation Army and let them handle it? Is it enough just to be kind to those closest to you?

What does it really mean to obey God’s commands? Do I love God if I wear my tzitziyot religiously? Do I love him if I read the Torah and teach it to others? What!?

It truly bothers me that I am asking these questions. I feel that I should know without any hesitation what it means to love in every circumstance. I pray for the time when God’s law will be fully written on my heart, but that day isn’t now. There are many things that I don’t understand, many instances in which I have not shown love or even knew what love would be.

I have written a book examining the manual on marital and familial love, and I intend to write a few more, but still my understanding of love has not approached what it ought to be. This will be the focus of my Torah studies from now on because if keeping Torah doesn’t teach you to love, then you are not keeping Torah. “Unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and pharisees you will in no case enter the kingdom of heaven.” The pharisees didn’t love God; they loved their traditions. If you obey all the rules and say all the right things, yet don’t have love, you don’t have anything.

A word about the rights of fathers over their daughters…I wrote in A Commentary on Marriage in the Bible that a father always has the right to veto his daughter’s choice of husband. I no longer believe that to be completely true. Matot (Numbers 30-32) says that a father may annul the vows of his unmarried daughter still living in his house. I have had occasion since then to learn something of the life of an unmarried daughter who is not still living in her father’s house, and it seems to me that Matot should be taken literally on that point. If she left her father’s house with his consent and has lived on her own for many years, then she should probably be accorded the status of a widow or divorcee, responsible for her own finances, decisions, and vows.

Exodus 20:24-26  You shall make an altar of earth to Me, and shall sacrifice on it your burnt offerings and your peace offerings, your sheep and your oxen. In all places where I record My name I will come to you, and I will bless you.  (25)  And if you will make Me an altar of stone, you shall not build it of cut stone. For if you lift up your tool upon it, you have defiled it.  (26)  And you shall not go up by steps to My altar, that your nakedness be not uncovered on it.

In a very real sense, God is our father and the earth our mother. The God of heaven took a bit of earth and breathed his spirit into it, creating life. This fact in combination with the astounding miracles of reproduction, of putting seeds in the ground so that they will sprout and produce more seeds, of a man and woman joining their bodies to create a new person, could easily lead people into fertility cults. If imitation is the sincerest flattery, how better can we worship the Creator than through an act of creation? The command to make an altar of earth in order to worship the God of heaven re-emphasizes our descent from these two. However, there are two more commands attached to this one that strongly imply God does not approve of sex as an act of worship.

In the first command, God says we are not to build the altar with cut stones. We might have ideas about how to make a more beautiful altar, but God has said he will prepare the stones. We get to select them and place them, but the materials and format are strictly up to him. God wants his worship, his way, not ours. He has told us how he is to be worshiped, and, although we might have a great deal of leeway in some of the details, we are not free to improvise however we choose. Although he commanded us to reproduce, he did not command us to worship him through the reproductive act.

In the second command, God says the altar should be placed so as to avoid even accidental exposure of the priest’s nakedness. If there was any doubt as to whether nudity should or should not be a part of overt worship, that should quell it.

I will make him an help meet for him. According to Adam Clarke, the Hebrew for “help meet for him,” ezer kenegdo, “implies that the woman was to be a perfect resemblance of the man, possessing neither inferiority nor superiority, but being in all things like and equal to himself.”¹ He was right to a certain extent. Eve was like Adam in that she was of mankind, and not animal kind, and in that she possessed both body and spirit while the animals have only body, but was not quite “a perfect resemblance of the man.” The physical differences between men and women are obvious. The spiritual differences are not so obvious, but they are evident in the Creation story, in many other scriptural references to the differently ordained roles of men and women, and in the practical roles into which men and women have almost universally organized their activities.²

Ezer implies more of an ally than a servant. In fact, David used that word several times to refer to God. In Psalm 33, he wrote, “Our soul waiteth for the LORD: he is our help and our shield.” And in Psalm 70, he wrote, “O God: thou art my help and my deliverer.” The term implies an ally, an indispensable supporter, a rescuer, and a man’s wife is certainly all of these things. There is nothing in the word to imply inferiority, but there is really nothing in the word that implies any kind of relationship at all except one of crucial support. The fact that she was made specifically for Adam’s purposes, and not for her own, however, demonstrates God’s intended purpose for her, to actively serve Adam, just as man’s purpose is to actively serve God. Stephen B. Clark wrote, “The description of the woman as a ‘helper fit for him’ implies that the woman was not simply to be, but to do. Her role is to be an active one in the support of her husband.”³ Eve was not created just to keep Adam company, and both men and women will live happier lives if they focus on their God ordained tasks. Women will be happier if they focus their lives on serving their husbands and rearing their children.

There is also no reason to suppose that women have no other purpose but to serve their husbands and bear their children. God has often used women as prophetesses to convey his words to mankind, and he has also given women the ability to take over leadership roles when men fail either through inability or abdication. Women might have their own missions assigned directly by God, but the vast majority of women will be happier and more fulfilled as wives and mothers, just as the majority of men will be happier as husbands and fathers. And a part of being a godly wife and mother involves willingly submitting to her husband in her role as his subordinate ally.⁴

¹ Clarke, Adam. Commentary on the Bible. e-Sword v7.0.5. Copyright 2000-2003, Rick Meyers. .
² Goldberg, Stephen. The Inevitability of Patriarchy. New York: William Morrow & Company, Inc., 1974. 228. “…the central fact is that men and women are different from each other from the gene to the thought to the act and that emotions that underpin masculinity and femininity, that make reality as experienced by the male eternally different from that experienced by the female, flow from the biological natures of man and woman…the women of every society have taken the paths they have not because they were forced by men but because they have followed their own imperatives.”
³ Clark, Stephen B. Man and Woman in Christ. Ann Arbor, Michigan: Servant Press, 1980. 20.
⁴ “Genesis 2:18 describes the man’s problem as being his aloneness, but it describes the solution as being ‘a helper fit for him’. Genesis does not describe woman as a companion to man but as a helper. As Von Rad points out, the phrase is not a romantic evaluation of woman. Rather it presents woman as ‘useful’ to man. A man’s wife is supposed to ‘do something’ for him, just as he is supposed to ‘do something’ for her. If she does not do what she is supposed to do for him (and if he does not do what he is supposed to do for her) deep interpersonal sharing will not make the marriage a good marriage.” Clark. Man and Woman. 22.

1. Respect. She can’t be rude or spiteful. She has to treat other people, especially me, with respect.
2. Patriarchy. She can’t want to be in charge. I suspect that all women have a tendency toward manipulation and control, but if she knows this and tries to suppress it, that’s all I ask. She has to believe that her husband is her head and be willing to submit herself to him and her will to his.
3. Integrity. She can’t be a thief, a cheat, or too much of a hypocrite.
4. Figure. I’m OK with athletic, thin, chubby, tall, or short. But she can’t be obese, skeletally thin, muscle-bound, or terribly misshappen. Call me shallow if you want, but if I’m not in the least turned on by what I see and feel, then that is going to be a serious hinderance to a relationship.
5. Age. At least 18 (preferably over 25, but some young women are exceptional) and no more than 5 years my senior. I’m not interested in jail bait, and how many teenage girls in today’s America are settled enough to handle a husband and children? On the downside, how many 25-40 year old women aren’t bitter, sick, or have to hire a bellhop to carry all their baggage around?
6. Honesty. Related, but not quite the same as integrity. So many women lie as a matter of course. Much of the time, they don’t even realize they’re doing it. They lie to protect themselves or to spare someone’s feelings or just because they feel like it. Nobody is perfectly honest, but there’s a limit.
7. Beauty. An attractive face is clearly a plus, but beauty eventually fades. I don’t care if a woman is plain, just so long as she isn’t hideous. Fortunately for all of us, really ugly faces are even more rare than beautiful ones.
8. Baggage. Everybody has issues, everybody has baggage, but a person has to be able to function. I’m not interested in anyone who’s bipolar, psychotic, misandric, rage-filled, possessed, exceptionally bitter, too self-hating, etc…
9. Religion. She has to be a believer. She doesn’t have to agree with me on everything as long as she is in general agreement and knows that I set the rules in my house. If she doesn’t know Yahweh, then she can hang out and be friends, but that’s as far as it’ll go.
10. Intelligence. As I already said, I don’t care if she isn’t a genius, as long as she isn’t stupid. I don’t need a woman to match wits with me, but I need to know that my house will remain in order if I am absent. I need her to be able to understand me when I speak and to respond in an intelligent manner. If there will be children, then she needs to be able to teach them.

I gave weights (from 1 to 5) to these characterstics and 26 more and put them in one column on a spreadsheet. I then ranked several women by how they scored. If she doesn’t have the characteristic, then she gets a score of 0. If she has it in moderation, then she gets a score of the characteristic weight times 1. If she has it in abundance, then she gets a score of the weight times 2. For example, I gave Intelligence a weight of 1. A stupid woman gets a score of 0, and she’s disqualified no matter how she scores otherwise. A woman of average or slightly above average intelligence gets a score of 1, and a very intelligent woman gets a score of 2.

These characteristics received the heaviest weights:

• Recommendations. Weight=5. Recommendations from people I greatly respect.
• Respect. Weight=3. See above.
• Patriarchy. Weight=3. See above.
• Kindness. Weight=3. Obvious.
• Integrity. Weight=3. See above.
• Industry. Weight=3. Hard working and self-motivated.
• Health. Weight=3. Obvious.
• Figure. Weight=3. See above.
• Age. Weight=3. See above.

A few other characteristics: Cheer, generosity, spirituality, torah, humor, fertility, family, domesticity (cooking, mending, etc.), financial acumen, etc.

I put 12 women on my chart. I was already very interested in 2 of them, mildly interested in 4. 2 others had expressed an interest in me, and I added 3 in whom I have no interest at all, just for balance. Based on the deal killing traits, I immediately eliminated 9 women. Out of a possible score of 136, the remaining 3 received scores of 93, 91, and 22. (The last received such a low score because too many cells are occupied by question marks.) That gives me a plan of action: Attract the attention of the 2 top scorers and collect more data on the 3rd place finisher.

I’m sure most women and some men would find this method too cold. I’m fine with that. If you don’t like it, don’t use it. I expect this might be more useful to analytically inclined men–computer geeks, engineers, etc. Many others might think I’m being too picky. I’m fine with that too. For the moment, I’m perfectly happy being single. I don’t have or want a girlfriend, and I haven’t asked anyone out since last August. At the moment, this is more of an intellectual exercise than anything else.

Correction: I had a date in December, but it didn’t turn out well. There’s a deal killer I didn’t mention: She forgets to tell you she’s married.

Update March 13, 2008: Here’s another deal killer: gross immodesty. I don’t mind a tomboy, and I don’t mind a twisted sense of humor. I don’t want to hear about her sexual exploits or how proud she is of her bodily functions. I don’t want anyone else to hear those things either. Modesty is all about knowing (and keeping!) the appropriate time and place for everything.

Update March 14, 2008: I used to think I was the only man to be so analytical about relationships until I came across this Kim du Toit article: Why Bother?

Update March 15, 2008: I need to add yet more fields:

• Parental Recommendations. Weight=5. Recommendations from my parents.
• Infatuation. Weight=4. Feelings come and go–which is why this only counts for 8 out of a possible 154 points (so far)–but I’d still really like to feel something for someone I might marry. Call me a romantic.

I think it was important that he did not appear to be speaking for God at every waking moment. He wasn’t Pharaoh’s replacement god; he was an emissary for that replacement. He had to hide his face so that the Israelites would not be tempted to worship him or to take every word as divine law. Removing the veil was like the pope speaking ex cathedra. He removed the veil when he read God’s Law, because he wanted Israel to see God speaking.

After studying the biblical mentions of veils and the like, I’ve concluded that coverings in general are emblems of authority, protection, and separation. There are several different kinds of coverings talked about in scripture: headcoverings, veils, mantles (or stoles), robes of state, wraps, hangings, bedding, and shadows.

I think that headcoverings and mantles are two sides of the same coin. How the covering is worn or used advertises the bearer’s relationship to the authority. Worn on the head, they indicate submission to the authority of someone else over the wearer. One who is under authority is obligated to obey, but is entitled to protection and provision. To a certain extent, he shares in the power of that authority. Worn on the shoulders, a covering represent the authority carried by the wearer. Think of Atlas holding the world on his shoulders. One who carries authority is responsible for its exercise and for the protection and provision of its subjects. Paul’s argument regarding the wearing of headcoverings in worship helps to clarify this principle that the Torah and the prophets only alluded to.

Some examples of coverings representing the bearing of authority:

• Elijah was a chief prophet and the headmaster of a school. He wore a mantle on his shoulders as a badge of office and passed it on to his successor, Elisha.
• The High Priest wore an onyx stone bearing the names six of the twelve tribes on each of his shoulders. They represented his right to judge the nation on spiritual matters, while he wore a gold plate with twelve different precious stones over his heart to represent his obligation to judge with love and mercy.
• Jacob gave Joseph a coat of many colors. Immediately after that, Joseph dreamed that all of Israel would someday bow to him. I don’t think that Jacob meant for Joseph’s coat to represent anything except his affection, but God had other plans. Think of the twelve differently colored stones on the High Priests breastplate. How much do you want to bet that there were exactly twelve different colors on Joseph’s coat?

Some examples of coverings representing submission to authority or protection:

• Ruth covered herself with a corner of Boaz’s tallit as a subtle marriage proposal.
• Boaz told Ruth to remove her veil–something that should only be done by someone in authority: a husband or father, for instance–so that he could fill it with barley. He was replying in the affirmative to her proposal.
• Paul argued that a woman who prays or prophecies without a headcovering dishonors her husband.
• Headcoverings were frequently used to hide shame or sorrow, a response which I believe to be very closely related to submission.
• The Hebrew word for “pitch” in the story of Noah’s ark literally means “covering.” The same word is also translated “bribe” or “ransom.”
• After God threatened Abimelech’s life for attempting to take a prophet’s wife as his own, Abimelech told Sarah that Abraham was a covering for her.
• In the trial of a wife suspected of adultery, the priest removes her headcovering before subjecting her to the ordeal, symbolizing the removal of her husband’s protection.

Noah’s pitch coated his ark to keep out the floods that destroyed the rest of the world, like Yeshua’s blood that separates us from our world and its eventual fate. Likewise, the Hebrew word translated “mercy seat” in Exodus 25:17 referring to the lid of the Ark of the Covenant actually doesn’t have anything to do with seats, although it does imply mercy. It means “lid” or “cover” and comes from the same root as the word translated as “pitch.” Both coverings protect the contents of a wooden box from something outside. The Ark of the Covenant represents (at least on one level) the heart of a human being. It’s where David said he hid God’s law and where God says he wants to write it in every person. We can’t face God in our natural state directly, but in the Tabernacle, God’s presence hovered above the Ark. The mercy seat represents Yeshua’s role as our High Priest and intermediary with the Father, who sees us through the filter of his son. In this case, Yeshua as our covering takes on almost every aspect symbolized by all the other types of coverings. He hides us from an overwhelming power. He seals our hearts off from the rest of the world. He commands our obedience as we submit to him.

Tamar wore a veil to hide her identity but also to subtly tell Judah that the deaths of his sons weren’t her fault. Her very name means “upright.” The real problem was with Judah’s sons and their mother. Through the entire humiliating ordeal, she remained submitted to authority, and thereby wound up with Judah’s life and power in her hands. She took his staff (a symbol of power and authority) and rings (rings, bracelets, and ear/nose rings are symbols of betrothal and ownership) from him, and returned them in such a way that had he insisted on prosecuting her, he would have forfeited his own life.

Other coverings represent the outpouring of one spirit or another or separation from God or protection from danger or comfort. I could probably write a book on this topic alone. Enough for now, though. I need to incorporate some of this into the current book first.

He’s right that divorce is a problem and that the divorce laws are a problem, but he is way off when he says they are the central problem. The divorce laws are terribly perverse, but that is only a symptom of a greater problem that really is cultural. Or maybe I should say spiritual. The central problem with marriage today is feminism, rebellion against God’s prescribed order. The absurdities of no fault divorce, mandatory and draconian spousal maintenance and child support payments, default child custody laws, homosexual marriage, et cetera, are the logical end of rejecting the common sense of created order. In that context, divorce is actually an oft-abused remedy that God has built into his Law.

Here’s my ideal solution (as of today–I might change my mind later):

1. Take marriage out of the hands of government. Do away with marriage licenses. The civil government has no legitimate role to play in deciding who may marry whom. Neither does the church.
2. Replace marriage licenses and platitudinal “vows” that no one takes seriously with real marriage contracts that must be signed by the bride, groom, and at least one senior relative of each. Two would be better. If there are no relatives available, then a spiritual mentor, such as pastor, rabbi, or priest, would do.
3. Reduce the government’s role in marriage and divorce to contract enforcement.
4. Immediately eliminate government financed welfare for able-bodied adults and corporations. Gradually eliminate most other government financed welfare programs as well and eliminate the income tax to compensate. Charity is admirable and spiritually mandatory, but there’s no charity at the end of a gun.
5. Institute a biblically based land and property reform. Every family gets its own land, which will be returned every fiftieth year without obligation. No land can ever be permanently sold, but can only be leased for a maximum term of fifty years. The only way that land can be permanently divided or transferred is through inheritance. Eliminate inheritance taxes. (I did say ideal and not necessarily practical, didn’t I?)
6. Replace the judicial concepts of punishment and reform with restitution and removal. Scrap 95% of all laws and send all the lawyers to an internment camp on the shores of the Beaufort Sea. The ones we don’t just give to old Billy, anyways. All future judges in local courts must be unpaid and must be respected and successful men of the general public.

Then I think we might be getting somewhere.