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I Sing My Plain Country Joan

Poor RICHARD’s Description of his Country WIFE JOAN.

A SONG — TUNE, The Hounds are all out

1. Of their Chloes and Phyllises Poets may prate,
I will sing my plain COUNTRY JOAN;
Twice twelve Years my Wife, still the Joy of my Life:
Bless’d Day that I made her my own,
My dear Friends.
Bless’d Day that I made her my own.

2. Not a Word of her Shape, or her Face, or her Eyes,
Of Flames or of Darts shall you hear:
Though I BEAUTY admire, ’tis VIRTUE I prize,
Which fades not in seventy Years.

3. In Health a Companion delightful and gay,
Still easy, engaging, and free;
In Sickness no less than the faithfullest Nurse,
As tender as tender can be.

4. In Peace and good Order my Houshold she guides,
Right careful to save what I gain;
Yet chearfully spends, and smiles on the Friends
I’ve the Pleasure to entertain.

5. Am I laden with Care, she takes off a large Share,
That the Burden ne’er makes me to reel;
Does good Fortune arrive, the Joy of my Wife
Quite doubles the Pleasure I feel.

6. She defends my good Name, even when I’m to blame,
Friend firmer to Man ne’er was given:
Her compassionate Breast feels for all the distress’d,
Which draws down the Blessings of Heaven.

7. In Raptures the giddy Rake talks of his Fair,
Enjoyment will make him despise.
I speak my cool Sense, which long Exper’ence
And Acquaintance has chang’d in no Wise.

8. The Best have some Faults, and so has My JOAN,
But then they’re exceedingly small,
And, now I’m us’d to ’em, they’re so like my own,
I scarcely can feel them at all.

9. Was the fairest young Princess, with Millions in Purse,
To be had in Exchange for My JOAN,
She could not be a better Wife, might be a worse,
So I’ll stick to My JUGGY alone,